Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your abundant grace.

Thank You for your unfailing love.

Thank You for watching over me everyday.

Thank You for Your breath of life,
     that I may live a life glorifying your name.

I am just some useless pile of integrated dust.
     Without you I am nothing.

Through Your LOVE,
     You created me as a resemblance of your image.

I am created unique,
     You drafted a special Blue Plan.

My life is too full of Your grace,
    Sometimes I wonder…
Who am I?
Why me?

You know that I need protection and guidance,
     You bless me with parents that lead me to You.

You know that I am to face tough situation in the future,
     You bless me with a smart brain to handle obstacles ahead.

You know that I am to impact people and bring them to You,
     You bless me with good academic result to convince others that through You everything is possible.

You want to show that servants of the Lord will not be ill-treated,
     You bless me with basic neccessities that is just enough.

You know that I am too arrogant,
     I need a lesson you said,
     You let me wander off from Your presence for a while,

Thus, I fell.

Yet You intervened.
Consequently, my fall was not that bad.

How silly of me to wander off on my own?

I learnt a lesson.
I remember the following 487.5 days You were my focus.
I meditate on Your words daily.
One chapter a day.

I remember…
     I tried to do my BEST in everything.
     I gave my best-effort.
Not wanting to waste the talents that You gave me.

Finally,
     I am able to glorify Your name once again.

You didn’t lifted me too high up.
     Because you know that I may return to my old path.

You even gave me an accountabillity partner.
     It was a special one indeed.

It seem to be another test that is given to me according to my ability.
     You trust me.

But I need Your guidance and reminders every single moment,
     so that in the end I can truly stand up and testify Your Name and Your Grace.

The road ahead is uncertain.

But I believe that You will lead me through.

I may stumble but You will be there.
This, You’ve shown me.

Till now,
I know that it is the relationship with you that matter.
Without a sound relation with you,
I may not be what I am as what I have to be.

I promise I will never shut You off my life.
But that will never happen.
     Because I have Your Spirit to guide me and remind me.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.

Scholarship Application Essay

I wrote this for my Singapore Scholarship Essay.

Feel free to comment.

The Meaning of Life

     Emptiness. Have you ever felt the sense of loneliness? Maybe you have not experience the extreme emptiness when you are alone. Maybe you are too busy with chores and responsibilities that you have no time to feel empty.

     I admit, I am a thinker. I like to think, analyze and figure out the perfect solution for problems that I faced. Friends use to say that I, sometimes, think too much, too deep and too detail. But I never give up. I like to think. That’s me. I believe that those who think seriously about the purpose of life and its meaning will likely not find any answer. So to such people, there’s only emptiness and everything is meaningless. A prolonged search without direction is a futile exercise and may lead to a state of depression. Those who managed to skip the depression stage are likely those who can give up this search. Some replaced their emptiness with short term goals. Even this, with the slightest change, the feeling of emptiness keeps lurking back. Some years back, I began thinking to myself that surely there is an answer somewhere.

     I am fortunate that I am brought up in a Christian family. I have been exposed to the activities of God since young. I have heard many testimonies about God. I have also heard people proclaiming that God is Love and knowing God will bring about fulfillment in life. But it has never occurred to me then because I believe tradition invites staleness.

     One day after some years of searching, when I was composing a song, suddenly, I knew the answer to my state of emptiness. It was the love of God that I was lacking. It was like a knot untied or a puzzle solved.

     Human beings are created with a vacuum, meant to be filled by God’s love. Having known this fact, I began to seek for an experience to be filled by God’s love. Much to my relief and surprise, I have actually felt different and the feeling of emptiness has left me. Immediately I thank God for his goodness and love.

     Later I learnt that God was all along there leading and helping me through the process of searching for the true meaning and purpose of life. Now I am living a life of submission to God. My life has not been the same since. I am walking with much confidence now because I know that God has a plan for me, and it is for my good. I am ready to commit my life to serve God anytime with all that I have.

    I understand that having committed my life to God, I will always strive for the best in all the endeavours upon my shoulder. I will continue to study hard. I believe God will provide a way for me to study in Singapore University where I can be further equipped professionally. The love of God has caused me to work hard and at the same time, accepting every outcome to be God’s best choice for me. I can trust Him and not worry. I will not be fearful to face tough situation. I am prepared for the worst eventually. But I am always hoping for the best to come.

     That is my zeal.